Ever since I found "Where is Hu Jia?" (http://spaces.msn.com/zengjinyan/) on Google, Jinyan's blog was a rest
stop for my soul. I would often read her diary and the comments
following it, sharing her joys and sorrows, as I too had experienced
the pain and confusion after the disappearance of a loved one. Now, Hu
Jia has returned. I am wholeheartedly happy for [Jinyan] and her
family, and I will continue to search for my brother. With the support
of my friends, I believe that I will also wait for the day when I can
smile again.
I had never thought that I, after becoming an adult, would write
anything besides research reports and investment records. In high
school I experienced the embarrassment of someone secretly reading my
diary, and I also read and heard many stories about diaries during the
Cultural Revolution. After twenty, I stopped trusting the pen to record
my own thoughts and feelings. Perhaps because work is so
time-consuming, I only knew about the most popular blogs on the
Internet, but I had never visited one myself. After my brother
disappeared, I visited his blog, Beijing or Bust
(spaces.msn.com/chinafool/), for the first time. Once I started I
couldn't control myself, and read his stories one after another.
My own writing has always been weak, and composition gave me even
more of a headache. But now I believe that true feelings will leap onto
the keyboard, as I type out the characters of my family and friends who
miss Wu Hao. These feelings do not require eloquence or adornment. They
just need to be faithfully recorded. I hope it can fill in for the "I
love you, brother," that is usually so hard for me to say.
Having always been proud of my enthusiasm for my job, I had hoped to
remain as dedicated to my work as before, but I still left the Shenyin
& Wanguo Spring Investment Strategy Conference early to drive to
the petition office of the Beijing Public Security Bureau. I hoped that
after Hu Jia had returned home I could get information about my brother.
This time they did not ask me to fill out paperwork. It was the
same officer as last time. He and another one promised to get in touch
with the officer in charge of the case. After coming in and out many
times and waiting, I never met the officer in charge. I only received a
message: Wu Hao has committed a crime (When I came on March 20, they
only told me that Wu Hao had been arrested.) They still refused to
inform me what crime he was suspected of, and also refused to allow our
lawyer to see him. Threatening to go to the Ministry of Public Security
was also useless.
Can these law enforcement organs really ignore his rights and
those of his relatives, and after detaining him for five weeks not
offer any explanation? Anger swelled in my chest.
When I heard that the repeated promises of a deadline for my
brother's release from the previous employee in-charge were just "one
of the working techniques" I nearly burst with fury.
That dignified state employees would carelessly trample on
someone's dignity, that a promise to a family member could be torn to
shreds like wastepaper—what powers did the law grant them? Thinking
about it, the people I dealt with never showed police credentials
(despite repeated requests), and never called each other by name. I
only know that the lead officer is surnamed Sun. After graduating from
police academy he spent some time as a teacher, and then moved to this
job for (?) [sic] 15 years. Even this limited information might be
false. I was angry at myself for my political naïveté, and angry at
this place that displayed the police insignia but did not actually
"Serve the People."
Finally, I got in an argument with the guard over using the restroom.
It was all about regulations. It was all about protecting secrets.
Why didn't they dare to write it down? I needed to vent my anger,
but finally I just ran out sobbing. I couldn't make trouble for the
insignificant guard and staff. In vast Beijing, finding a place where
people can talk sense and speak clearly is terribly difficult.
In the evening, while eating dinner with friends, I found out that a
friend had a terrifying experience this afternoon. He tried calling me
and J for a long time, but the call wouldn't go through. He worried
that we had had an accident. Thankfully, he persisted in dialing the
number until the call went through. Only then was his mind at ease. It
was strange, because at the time I was in XXXX's [sic] hall, where the
cell phone signal was excellent, but my phone didn't ring. I checked
the call record but there were no missed calls. Why didn't it go
through? I thought about it and realized that other friends also
complained that I wasn't answering my phone.
Very fishy. Finally, like a martyr saying her final words, I gave my
friends contact information for my husband and my former employer. I
felt disconnected from reality, like in a novel. Would anything really
happen? I had thought that a person disappearing without a trace was
something that only happened in novels, but hadn't that already
happened in real life too?
I had to give my daughter a call. When she said "Mommy" over the
phone, my tears began to flow again. As she, completely unaware of what
was happening, excitedly reported her dancing achievements and progress
in class, I was silently apologizing to her. Mom has been missing too
often. Mom really wants to hold your little body, share every little
thing that happens at school, and read to you. I hope that everything
ends quickly, and your uncle can come back soon. Then Mom can hold your
little hand again.
Thank you, Huang. I did not want what happened in my life to disrupt
the lives of my friends, but you still learned that information from
the World Journal Even if you can't help, your phone call let me feel
the warmth of friendship in the cold Beijing spring.
I hope that friends can use this blog to enter my life, searching for my brother in 2006.
Mr. Wu's sister, Nina Wu, said the Beijing Public
Security Bureau's petition office confirmed Mr. Wu had been detained
but won't specify any charges against him. "His dream is in China,"
she said. "His dream is for speaking out freely, and for making
films....He knows there are some problems here, but he loves China and
thinks things are getting better and better."
In response to questions from The Wall Street Journal
about why Mr. Wu was detained, the Public Security Ministry and the
State Council Information Office said they are looking into the matter.
A half-dozen friends and colleagues who have known Mr.
Wu for about 20 years, both in China and the U.S., describe him as
outgoing and principled and said he hasn't had problems with drugs or
the law. What might have spurred the arrest, they said, is the film Mr.
Wu had been working on for several months about underground churches.
They said that on Feb. 24 Mr. Wu's editing equipment and several
videotapes were removed from his apartment.
The Chinese government really shoots itself in the foot by detaining people like Hao.